In Focus

Part One

The ugliest habit in which I usually dress up my personality is excessive talking. It becomes even worse because I don’t practice ‘think before you say’ karma. On the top of it, I don’t have a sound command over my native language Urdu. Unfortunately anything which comes out my mouth is mostly intrepeted in a wrong sense. I am very frank and straight forward person, I can’t live with keeping things in my heart.. I just can’t. I become weak on the point that I can’t either show rather share my pain with others, an unusual combination for sure. I am paying a great cost because of this problem, not only for those few moments of conversation but for the longlasting bitter memories that I receive as a bonus and carry for a long time.

Part Two

I anticipate high expectations from others and we all know that expectations usually don’t hold true in reality. I love everyone, I get so friendly with one and all that I start expecting the same or alteast something from them. In the end I am the only one who gets hurt. Why me?! Is this the reward you should get of being honest and caring from the people around you?

Part Three

Now my little heart neither have enough courage nor any space to carry burden of even a single pain or misunderstanding or else it will burst and shatter into tiny pieces and then the each piece filled beautifully with blood droplets will speak out loud on behalf of this marooned personality about the pains stored inside it for more than a decade.

Mashallah se, I have spent this phase beautifully with courage. I have endured alot without complaining. It only became possible because of some people who stood by me, never said a word but their love spoke loud enough for my support. On the top of the list stands my dear God – Thank you for everything. And among others, my parents were the ultimate ones who became my key for survival. God bless them.

I know everyone’s love and support is still there with me but the pain is so immense that its hard to get away with it. I hope rather I believe that God will certainly show me the way yet again and always.


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